ΚΑΕΣΑΔΙΛΛΑ

They all said go Greek. I was not too fond of the idea. I really didn’t feel like the Greek life was the life for me. I said no. I said no some more. But I didn’t expect it all to change so quickly…

About 12:07 PM today it all changed. I walked into the school cafeteria expecting as usual the Tuesday taco—mostly because today was Taco Tuesday and National Taco Day (October 4, 2016—this post is only slightly late…) all wrapped up in a single Tuesday. I couldn’t hold back my taste buds in the library at 11:53 AM. I could almost taste the sour cream and salsa on some melted cheese on some gluten magic, called the tortilla. The fresh chopped tomatoes’ tangy-fresh sweetness was the only thought that I could entertain—because I mean I definitely was not thinking about philosophy homework (lets be honest I still don’t entirely understand the difference between Neoplatonism and Platonism and I am not quite sure if Plato and Plotinus are really just time travelling counterparts). My expectations were high and I definitely thought I would go Mexican today. Alas something changed within me.

I went Greek. I did. It was out of a last resort, really I promise you Mom and Dad—I had to. The weird chicken with squishy tomatoes, olives, and a peculiar sort of feta cheese was not about to be consumed by itself. The asparagus was too limp to really be eaten with a fork. It needed a tortilla. It demanded two tortillas and a Panini press.

At least though I joined a good frat though. If you could not already tell this is the ΚΑΕΣΑΔΙΛΛΑ. That is Kappa Alpha Epsilon Sigma Alpha Delta Iota Lambda Lambda Alpha (KAE-SA-DILLA) for all you who haven’t heard of this Greek house. This is truly a respectable frat. They have a grand total of one member so far—me. They have a hearty reputation for creating creative food and unique ingredient combinations. They also don’t drink anything except coffee. Fear not parents. I think this will be a good one for me.

Recipe for the ΚΑΕΣΑΔΙΛΛΑ

Difficulty: 2/5

Tortil-la-lish-ous-ness: 9/10

Could have used: a side of Oikos Greek yogurt

You will need:

• A golden body
• An olive orchard
• A Zeus platter
• Greek chicken (whatever that means)
• Rice pilaf (I don’t think this is Greek but it made in anyway)
• Limp asparagus
• Ranch dressing (if you have some plain Greek yogurt that would be better here)
• Cheddar cheese (or whatever cheese happens to be lurking around the salad bar island)
• ¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡TORTILLAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Panini press
• Patience
• A seductive Mediterranean accent
• Pico de Gallo or the Greek equivalent: ΠΙΚΟ ΔΕ ΓΑΛΛΟ

Take the chicken and carefully dissect it into small pieces. Gently cover TORTILLA 1. Take the limp asparagus and cut into smaller pieces. Cover the chicken on TORTILLA 1 with this asparagus (the heads of asparagus taste better than the stocks, by the way). Fill in the holes with about 1 table spoon of rice pilaf. Cover in some cheese (if you get the option of feta cheese, because you have a good cafeteria unlike me, toss a little on at this point). Spread ranch dressing on TORTILLA 2 and cover up your Greek dila’ and head over to the Panini maker. Lower heat. Place your dila’ on the hot iron. Wait. Wait. Rotate and get good grill marks. Wait some more. Remove the dila’. Bathe the quesadilla—I mean the ΚΑΕΣΑΔΙΛΛΑ—in pico de gallo. Remember to hold in your salvia as you walk back to your seat with the ΚΑΕΣΑΔΙΛΛΑ—it really isn’t that cute to see you drooling like that.